#this is why i'm starting to force myself to stop sugar-coating my boundaries at this point

[uncanny-tranny]

Man, one of the most soul-wrenching realizations for me in recovery has been that the reason I was so bad at making boundaries wasn't because I was a coward. It was because it was a trigger. Every time I did make and enforce boundaries, I was pursued and chastised, and I was treated even worse afterward. I felt like I was such a failure of a person because I didn't know how to say "no," and I never learned how to say it without being convinced I would be treated horrifically.

All this to say that boundaries are so important. If somebody is stomping on your boundaries and treating you worse because you have boundaries, you are being mistreated, hell, you are being abused. If you are afraid of making boundaries, that is likely a sign. You aren't at fault. You deserve boundaries. You deserve to be treated right. I hope nobody treats you like your boundaries are an attack or challenging them to stomp on them.

[meeeepymeeperton3rd]

Dumb rant, and I'm fully aware I'm not a perfect human being, and I can be a jack ass at times

Also, this is the account my friends don't know about

(SA trigger warning ⚠️ and SH warning ⚠️)

For context, i was screwed over for the entirety of my first ever relationship(6 months). I didn't tell any of my friends the messed-up things my ex did. When i finally broke down and told my best friend(a HIGHLY sugar coated verson of hSAing me), he told me I had to break up with my bf (no shit, been trying to for 3 months at this point). When I finally did, my ex was completely an asshole about it and tried to gilt trip me. Thankfully, I used some of the techniques from therapy and was able to cope.

This is where the current problem started(last November). After breaking up with my ex and telling everyone, "He was a jurck, and I do NOT want to elaborate." Some of my friends didn't get the memo. Specifically, 2 of them.

(Friend 1) was in a club with my ex and friends with him. When she found out she (despite the fact that i was vulnerable and actively crying) tried to GUILT TRIP ME INTO TELLING HER!!! When I say that, I mean despite the fact that my ex was known to make 'krill your self jokes' towards my best friend, and i said I broke up with him for treating my poorly, she INSISTED that I MUST tell her specifically why I broke up with him so she can decide whether she wants to stop being friends with him or not. (I never said she had to stop), and it was like 2 seconds after she found out we broke up) She felt that she was entitled to knowing because he was her friend and she had a right to this knowledge( for some fucking reason) and wouldn't take "ask him" for a answer.

Then my wanna be mom friend (friend 2 is really just bossy) decided to join in. She kept insisting I tell everyone on why because how are my friends supposed to help me (I didn't want help, I wanted to cry and be by myself). (Friend 2) tried to make it sound like she just wanted to help, but she has a track record of getting people to open up and then dumping them on to other people. She constantly tells people they need to get better at setting boundaries when all she dose is break them. This friend also trys to act like they are a "therapist" when their one of the only people in the group who haven't even taken a psychology class.

The breaking point was my BEST FRIEND agreeing with them. (He really just wanted me to feel like I could confide in them if I wanted to).

So despite not wanting to air out my dirty laundry and be known as someone who let herself get SA, I give in after saying no multiple times, I tell them.

Then, because I'm such a mess, I confide in my one friend, only for him to start flirting with me and saying how he would never hurt me like my abusive ex so I think he is a safe person. Only when we start dating, he completely changes. He makes fun of my getting SA. He is rude and controlling. He tries to talk for me constantly. And I found out that he cheated on his ex, AND he was still with his ex when he started flirting with me. He also lied about no longer being friends with my ex. I end up breaking up with him after a week, and he is still convinced we're getting back together (since last December).

Once winter break started, I proceeded to lose months of progress from therapy(definitely not good). Won't go into too many details, but I started SH again after months of work, and now my clean streak is ruined.

I've been back at school for 3 days. Day one, I accidentally let it slip that I was mad at someone other than my ex. My best friend forced me to tell him. I told him about our 2 friends and he agreed that it wasn't cool. The next day, we get into a stupid argument. I'm a loud person, sure, but I wasn’t yelling at him.

He mentioned (friend 1) being upset.

I say I didn’t care because she was rude.

He takes that as me thinking (friend 1) was because for venting in the group chat and is condescending when telling me that she wasn't rude.

I think he means in general, and I get upset because gilt tripping is MEAN. So I get defensive.

He's upset that I'm mad and apologize for not understanding, but he doesn't lose the hostility.

I'm upset, want to cry, and was all worked up. I think who cares and confusion dealt with, but I'm still frustrated. I say 'whatever' and end up leaving cause he needs to catch his bus, and I need to meet up with my ride

He's upset shouting something about saying he was sorry as I'm walking

And I'm like,'doesn't even matter. I'm not doing this right now.

When I got how I cooled off. I texted him an apology and offered to sit somewhere else at lunch. I was left on 'delivered' and assumed he was busy. When I returned, I saw that he vented on his Tumbler that are friends fallow him on about how shitty his day was and how his 'best friend' yelled at him for no rest and he mentioned that I 'apologized but now I wanted to sit somewhere else for lunch' he would only know that if he read my text. He was too petty to click on my message and mark it as read and still blow up about what I said on his Tumbler. I sent another apology and explained that I didn't want to upset him more by sitting with him. IM STILL LEFT ON FUCKING DELIVERED! I say fuck it we'll fix it tomorrow we alway do he just needs space right now.

Today I didn't see him in the morning because his bus was late. I didn't see him at lunch when my friend and I looked for him before getting lunch. I shot him a total of 3 new texts today, saying that I hope he made it to school safely and that the group was going to the commissary.

I walk to my next class missing my best friend only to see him in the hall way. He ate lunch alone. So I'm asking I'd he's ok and he brushes my off. I then say that I was sorry in person this time and say that he doesn't have to forgive me...

I go to advisory, and I'm trying not to cry the whole 90 minutes. At the end of the day, I go to return his jacket to him(i always wear his jacket). he acts cold to me and tells me he doesn't want it. So I leave and try not to cry.

He's condescending and rude and says that he knows I'm sorry cause I sent him 900 messages. 8 over the span of 2 days isn't a lot(we normally spam each other with hearts), and he left me on delivered for all of them. We go to our class, and since it's an online class (we're all on laptops), he asked to work in the other room(we sit next to each other in that class). So there I was sitting there by myself on the verge of tears the entire time. When I saw him in the hall, he made it obvious that he wasn't looking at me.

I'm still left on delivered BTW

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

hi !! can I please get a 🍰?

i just came across of you writing and it is so cute !! (´-﹏-`；) every post made me feel all warm & fuzzy inside ~ please feel free to totally ignore this if this isn't the proper way to ask or if you already closed your request (also I'm sorry if you already closed your request I didn't noticed) . Also sorry if this has any grammatical errors or if the descriptions don't make sense, english isn't my first language.

so, uhm, to begin my name is elliot (she/her) I'm 5'4, I'm from argentina (south america) i speak spanish & english (among other languages) idk how much I'm supposed to put on here so I'm just going to describe myself as redacted as possible. (Don't know if this is necessary but I'm jewish ¿) ^_________^

I have short brown wavy hair, just a couple of centimeters below my ears, i have bangs, I'm very pale ¿ not chubby but also not skinny average if i may say so. My fashion style changes from time to time but i usually wear clothing in the range of black to white, also sometimes I like trying whatever aesthetic is going around at the time.

Personality wise I'm pretty calm at first, i'm not very good with getting to know new people so I try to be as quite as possible but once I get comfortable i tend to be very loud, i like making my friends laugh since i think that's the most sincere way of knowing they talk to me because they like me. I would say I'm like the mom friend/therapist friend since i really like helping and listening people talk. I love having deep conversations with friends/loved ones, they give me this sense of connection nothing else can give me. I am very blunt and it usually comes off as rude but i try to sugar-coat my words as much as possible.

And while I very much love everyone who is friends with me I have a very hard time showing it and/or showing my empathy for them (one of the reasons as to why I'm not good with meeting new people) but i try to become a better version of me day to day.

What i look in a person is someone who can understand me and my boundaries, since I'm germophobic PDA isn't really something that i enjoy doing but with time i can get myself around to it. Someone whom I can trust enough to be emotionally open with and vice versa. Talkative or not doesn't matter to me. My love language is acts of service. ^_________^

I hope you have a really amazing day ! ! remember to drink water and eat something yummy (*＾3＾)/～♡ don't be too harsh on yourself and keep in mind that many people love you, ba-bye ! ╰(⸝⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝⸝)╯

🍰 for @vvanteffect

Romantic Matchup

Sakusa Kiyoomi

How yall met

You guys met during the All-Japan Youth Training Camp

(You were a partial manager from Nekoma during that time)

Shockingly enough he actually approached you

Granted his cousin was forcing him to socialize but that's not important

He had noticed how you tended to stay away from other people or how when you did talk to someone it was usually a very short conversation

Basically you seemed like the least contaminated person he could talk to so he just went for it

Right away he noticed how blunt you were

Like he would ask you a question adn the longest answer you would give him was about a sentence

“Hey how are you”

“Good”

“Uh so what school are you from”

“Nekoma”

You get what i'm saying

But honestly he didn't really care he just kept talking to you

And the longer he talked to you the longer your responses would get

You guys spent the rest of camp together

And when it was time to go home you exchanged numbers so you could stay in contact

Your schools weren't too far from each other so you guys would see each other in person when you were both free

And well he ended up falling for you

What they love about you

Of course he loves that your also a partial germaphobe

It makes it easier for him to be around you knowing that you try your best to stay clean

He loves how simple you are

From the clothes you wear

To how you talk to other people

He tends to over analize if people are to complicated

But with you everything is just short and sweet

He loves how good of a listener you are

Like if he's had a bad day he can just call you and rant about it

And not only do you listen

But you also help him solve his problems

This next one isn't really something he loves more like something he's proud of

He's very proud that he's gained enough of your trust for you to talk to him

Like full blown conversations

Your guys convos have come a long way from the very first conversation you had

He's just happy that you trust him enough to talk to him

What you love about them

You love that he respects your boundaries

Let's be honest here

Mans isn't really into PDA either

Like come on

LOOK who were talking about here

But that's not the only boundary he respects

He respects All of your boundaries

Like all you have to do is tell him you don't like something and he'll stop

You love how he can handle your bluntness and not get offended

Honestly when you look back on how you met him

Your shocked that he even kept talking to you

That whole training camp people would keep on trying to talk to you

But then leave after a short while because you were being blunt and they took it the wrong way

But not Sakusa

He kept on talking to you even when you were acting pretty cold

And your very appreciative about that

Favorite things to do together

Ok so even though you live semi close together

It's not like your neighbors

So his favorite thing to do with you is to just facetime you and talk about each others days

And when you guys are able to get together

He prefers that you both just stay inside for the most part

So you do just that

Usually your in person hangouts include playing board games, reading,or watching movies together

And if you guys decide to go out

He makes you wear a mask the whole time

And you guys will usually just take a walk at a park or on the beach

Somewhere where theres not a lot of people yk

Random Hc

He has bought you two matching masks

His homescreen on his phone is a picture of you that he took while facetime you

Once you guys were in public and he accidently gave you a kiss while both of your masks were on

And now thats just became a norm for you two

You guys have these matching pajamas

Friendship Matchup

Kuroo Tetsurou

How yall met

You are Nekomas manager

And since kuroo was the captain you worked very closely with him

Which eventually made a friendship bloom

Why you became friends

He kind of saw you as a compitition if that makes sense??

Like when he first met you it's almost like you didn't want to talk to him

Which couldn't be true because he's awesome!

Sure you are kuroo

Anyways kenma had made some backhand comment on how some people just dont wanna talk to him

And kuroo was like 🧐

So he made it his goal to befriend you

It started with him having basic conversation with you everyday

Then it turned into him talking to you during the school day

Which then turned into him inviting you to hand out after school

Eventually you guys just became besties

What yall love about each other

He loves how straightforward you are

Like if you don't like something youll say it

If someones ticking you off you'll tell them

Even though your bluntness is something you get insecure about sometimes

He thinks it's one of your best traits

He also loves that you are bilingual

It makes for a good time when your ranting about something because your languages will start to blend

And if your really mad you'll just switch to spanish and just start ranting

And even though he can't understand a word your saying

He just smile and nods till your done

You love how deep your conversations can get

Like he'll play along with whatever deep topic you talk about

“What's the meaning of life”

“I would say its to give life a meaning”

Yeah y'all talked about that for HOURS

You also like how helpful he is

If your ever having a hard time managing the team he'll always offer a helping hand

And if your ever struggling with schoolwork he's always there to help you

Random Hc

He was very shocked when you and Sakusa started dating

He threatened to kick his ass if he ever broke up with you

Hes tried to learn spanish but gave up after a week

But he did learn how to say all the cuss words in spanish

After he befriended you he rubbed it in kenmas face

Kenma was just like 😐 ok

But kuroo took satisfaction in his victory

You really had kuroo thinking for a whole day when you asked him

Did the color orange come before the fruit? Or is it vice versa?

Still hasn't come up with an answer to that question